My Rule 2

Hard to believe Alex Pilson and I have been Floridians for 18 months or so.

We are loving it here and have zero regret.

Such a different vibe down here. I absolutely love it.

People are not caught up on what everyone else thinks nor are they seeking outside approval from the world… they just show up and are themselves.

That has been our experience

AND I think it’s also because we have been very intentional on ridding fake people, insincere friendships, and pretense from our lives.

There is for sure an atmosphere from where we from “keep up with the Joneses” because what you have materialistically is so very judged!

I love being around free spirited open minded people!

People that dance how they want to dance- dress how they want to dress- without care of what anyone else is thinking or afraid of judgement.

OMG! Fear of judgement is such a limitation in life.

We are surrounded by those who just want to enjoy life. So much fun to witness and people watch.

It is refreshing and the energy is so hard to describe.

The cost of living here is lower too! I repeat that because people love to judge and make assumptions that if you are having fun and show happiness then you must be spending lots of money and living the high life meaning a rich man life.

What I have personally appreciated most within my journey these past 7 years is I realize a rich man’s life has nothing to do with what’s in your wallet or bank account and everything to do with the relationship you have with self…. and then who you surround yourself with.

High life, to me, comes from enjoying life to its fullest!

Money is no doubt a necessity for necessities and essentials… an enhancer for luxuries.

I have mentioned we are on a very tight budget, both still recovering from life events. Me, a life changing disease and divorce- building a new career by returning to my original in Health and Fitness as a result of disease- covid hit. He being laid off because of covid during covid when no companies were hiring.

A household that was down two significant incomes at once that was simply surviving.

It is very easy to focus on the negatives in down times and I often remind him how few people could survive almost 10 months unemployed. Most Americans live paycheck to paycheck- that is fact. So where he beats himself up for a life event he literally had no control over and the stressful times it brought that are not quite over- recovery from 9 months loss of significant income takes time- I admire him for his survival skills through it. He should be proud of how he handled it. The frustrations are still there because he is still in recovery. I get that.

My disease is 100% not lifestyle related so I have no ownership over having the disease aside from being born as it’s genetically pre/disposed. I have ownership in doing what I need to do to keep in management of its ailments. I for sure have ownership in the trust I gave during a divorce and wanting so badly just be done I agreed to that which I should not have agreed to- that which honestly with all the unknowns at the time from my disease- I could not agree to. So much more to that story and it is still playing out. I trusted words spoken from souls that cannot be trusted. And had my heart broken from truly unexpected sources. I take responsibility for keeping to myself during that time and not confiding in and allowing others to help me through it which likely would have created a entirely different outcome financially for me.

This girl just wanted to be free and moved on. I knew and know that I will find that same level of success financially I once had. Millions of seeds are planted and I plant more each and everyday. I water them. I nurture them. I have no doubts the harvest will be plentiful.

I do not beat myself up because I cannot go back and undo what has already been done.

I cannot beat myself up over a disease I have no control over; and in fact, had to release resentment I had because of it that was holding me back in so many ways on its own.

Far too many people are “happy enough” or not “happy at all” with themselves- not even talking relationships here- I am talking the relationship they have with themselves that they seek happiness through spending. Spending is a temporary high and it never buys happiness, it just buys things

Sometimes we can get so caught up in the material things we want- the life enhancers we desire and don’t yet have- that we lose focus on gratitude of what we do.

The special moments in life we have.

We give so much of our thoughts on what we want- chasing the next spend- without a written plan and prioritization to reach it and even thought of what value it will bring to your life.

Sometimes it has zero to do with what we want and simply part of the competition against other game we are playing.

Chasing the next high regardless of its cost emotionally and mentally then physically.

We found ourselves lost and empty.

We forget all the failures and the timelines it took those we want to mirror to fail forward to the success they are now experiencing.

We can even lose focus on gratitude for who we have.

We lose gratitude for all the small things they do on our behalf, their touch and how it makes us feel, the quality time together.

I have written often about the gratitude I have because the disease has taught me what is truly important in life, what matters most, and what true happiness means. It has taught me what is happiness and what enhances it.

Humbling times have not broken me, they have made me stronger.

I like enhancers. I love enhancers. And these humbling times will make me appreciate the enhancers that come from the seeds I am planting that much more!

Hindsight is always 20/20. Maybe history sometimes repeats itself- or it feels like a repeat when in reality you brought forward lessons that benefitted you this go- and history has repeated because the lessons that were meant to take away were not.

There is still more left to learn.

We can keep focus on the mistakes we made that we cannot go back and undo, beat ourselves up each and everyday, and we can allow our negative space to create even more negative space by focussing on the negatives of others who will feel aided and abetted to cast blame, shame, and judgement to somehow make ourselves feel better while, in essence, we make someone else feel small.

When through our stress we start picking apart another human being because we want them to feel and know their place in where we are at- we blame and have resentment towards them- we do not feel like they did their part to help, we open up space for them to pick us apart. It is a natural defense mechanism. It does not benefit a family relationship, a friendship, a parenting relationship, or a romantic relationship in any way shape or form. It is a dangerous slippery slope because none of us are perfect and we all have opportunity to learning where we can show up better in the relationships in our lives and for those we love.

We can allow our ego to shut down conversations of constructive feedback.

We can allow our ego to keep us from having truly upfront conversations with others about our tough times, hurt caused, and pain.

We can hold back from teaching powerful life lessons to our kids through though times by holding back truths. That does not prepare them for their tough times they will have- an important coping skill to teach.

Ego and fear are two powerful emotions that create, in my opinion, bad outcomes for all. They rob us happiness.

So my Rule 2 for living a truly Healthy and Fit Lifestyle!

Find true happiness so you no longer have to chase it with temporary highs and than you truly appreciate the enhancers. Truly appreciate the little things. Truly appreciate those in your life.

This happens and the order may be different for each persons journey.

It requires releasing ego, fear, resentment towards yourself and others.

It requires forgiving yourself and others for however you feel you have wronged yourself of or how have wronged you.

Release it!!

It requires being real, being raw, being authentic, being open, being open minded, be learning based, and be willing to be vulnerable.

True friends who loved you unconditionally will actually love you more. Those that did not will distance and that is okay. You will learn quickly who has your back and who does not.

True family will remain family. True family will love you unconditionally and support you. You will learn quickly who has your back and who does not. You will learn quickly that blood is not thicker than water.

If money defines a relationship, it is not an authentic relationship that’s for sure. Meaning if you are afraid someone will love or like you less because you have falling on hard times and have to say no than you do not have faith in that bond… and that bond needs work.

It requires a high level of #selfcare #selflove for strong #selfesteem #selfconfidence

Only you, my friend, are truly responsible for finding inner happiness so you that you can truly appreciate all your blessings that much more. And when you have true inner happiness and appreciation I believe more blessings will come. As long as you stay negative you will stay in a down place. Energy for sure becomes a magnet for good or bad, your thoughts are truly that powerful.

By design, not by default.

You will quickly learn that all of my rules require taking ownership, self responsibility, self love, and self care to remove excuse and reasons. They only exist to self comfort and they rob us from growing and learning.

The ultimately rob us regardless of what’s in a bank account of being truly a rich man (or woman)