At what point in a relationship does one decide I no longer need to show up as I showed up on our first date, our first few months of dating, our first year of the relationship, how I showed up in the “honeymoon’ phase?

Like what takes place mentally that one thinks its okay to give him prickly legs or for men who shave their entire bodies it okay to give her prickly arms, chest, and ass?

That it is okay to let go of #selfcare #selflove that then chips away at ones #selfesteem and #selfconfidence

From my observation of my own relationships and observation of the relationships of others- the good- the bad- and the ugly I see that the “honeymoon” phase ends because we let it end. We get comfortable and complacent… and stop putting in the effort we once did.

Like I just recently met some new friends- he is 71 and she is 69. They both take care of their sexual health because keeping their sex life alive was a priority for both of them, they have a ton of fun together, they laugh together, and the love and spark they have for each other shines through. They chose not to become comfortable and complacent- they chose to keep the honeymoon phase alive.

We stop dating each other, we stop surprising each other.

We step into routine… that so often creates boredom in a relationship.

More importantly, it is that effort that makes the other person feel special.

We confuse love and sexual attraction! “If they love me they should love me at any size and should not care I gained weight”. Loving someone and being sexually attracted to them are two different things.

It is why I think both men and women have a responsibility in their relationship to practice a high level of #selfcare #selflove so that they have a strong #selfesteem and healthy #selfconfidence because that fuels sexual attraction.

Everyone appreciates a person who loves themselves enough they keep up their personal hygiene, their health, and their fitness. How one cares for oneself says a lot about how one feels about themself.

selfcare #selflove #selfesteem and #selfconfidence is super sexy.

Think about it…

The very first thing that drew us to our partner is physical attraction. The physical attraction creates a desire to want to learn more about them. It is the attraction we have to their exterior and the attraction we have to who they are that causes us to fall in love.

Yes, without inner beauty a relationship would never form.

We should not and cannot discredit the importance on keeping the physical attraction alive and well.

For ourselves first, and our relationship second.

Great health and fitness provides the energy, the stamina, and the desire to create new adventures.

Renewing love, life, and adventure with who you are currently committed to starts with you renewing yourself.

If you love who you are with show up like you would if you were divorced and back in the dating world…. Watch what happens.

We already know what comfortable and complacency yields… divorce or settling for “Happy Enough” and/ or sexless relationships and/ or even daydreaming about how life would be with someone new.

“Happy Enough” is quite honestly not enough because it is really not being happy.