Need confidence?

I often share experts that have made impacts on my life, who continue to make impact on my life- those who have helped me in my healing process- and who continue to help me expand my thinking.

One of my favorites that I share often for emotional and mental well being when it comes to sexual health is Dr. Jess Sexologist.

As much as there is a physical component to sexual health and changes that take place as both men and women age; as I discussed in my sexual health series, I would say most issues that hinder ones sexual desires are emotional and mental repression towards sex (perhaps taught or from a previous trauma) and not actual physical interference at all.

One aspect that can interfere with one’s desire for sex or frequency or quality is their self esteem.

I was watching Dr Jess in action last night rewatching one of Alex and our favs, and Dr Jess was counseling a woman who has very low self esteem.

She is not feeling good about her body since having a baby. So the pressure placed on her husband to constantly lift her up is great.

There was a moment of aha in the wife’s eyes where you could see her realize she has been unfair to her husband putting all this pressure on him. Responsibility really for boosting her self esteem.

When I listen to Dr. Jess in action and her podcast, I always learn something of value.

What I admire most is she never comes from judgement, she always comes from curiosity and then how she positions what needs to be said is so powerful in every podcast.

Alex and I look forward to attending one of her workshops.

I write about self esteem, self value, self worth, self love, self care, and self confidence on the regular.

There is a key word in each ~ self!

Compliments and attention from others is at best a short term high of esteem and confidence boost like a shot and not a long term solution for healing. To need outward validation to feel good about oneself is not true self esteem, self value, self worth, self love, self care, and self confidence.

It’s an inside job that ultimately only one’s self can do!

All the compliments in the world will not change the way you feel about you until you change how you feel about you.

I believe it’s when you step into that healing and you build that relationship with self where you truly love yourself that all other decisions will be true and authentic to your passions and to what moves you and you then stand in the greatest integrity to yourself.

As long as you are seeking validation outward you stand at risk of compromising your real, raw, and authentic self for a quick buzz.

So the question is where do you feel insecure (we all have insecurities) and what are you willing to do to work on how you feel about you… and truly loving yourself so that others have less of a burden to always feel the need to prop you up.

What if the energy of needing to prop you up 100% dissipated and they could simply pay you compliments based on the emotions you stir up in them when you enter the room?

Just my thoughts after seeing the energy of her pain from feeling bad about her body and the validation she needs as a result.