I was chatting with a friend this morning. She checking in on me and my healing.
I told her how much Alex Pilson and I appreciate her and her husbands true friendship and their raw, real, and authentic beings.
It’s refreshing!
In a world where so often the conversation at a table turns into conversation about others not there or politics or something unproductive, it never does with them.
In a world where so often the conversation is one dimensional meaning about surface life topics and nothing very deep, the conversation with them can go very deep and super real with zero pretense and fake.
Truth is…
Facts are…
People will say they don’t talk about others in the same sentence they are talking about others.
They will even say…
“I don’t like to talk about others but … blah blah blah”
People think they are open minded, they are not.
People don’t think they assume, they do
People don’t think they define, they do
People don’t think they judge, they do
People will tell you they are a vault and you can tell them anything so you say something about yourself they know no one else knows, and then they cannot wait to tell someone. What they now know is erupting like a volcano inside them and has to get out to someone so they speak. Then the next volcano erupts and next thing you know everyone knows a different version of what was first told. 🤔
I have seen cliques inside a clique, where the clique inside the clique talks about the other clique members not in the inside clique- or a clique member- and they will think all their talk is not gossip because it’s “all under the term because we care” conversation.
Last time I checked if you care about another and have concerns about them or for them, you should go straight to them, right? Because I have witnessed some of these conversations, I would say there is some good intention of caring behind some of them; and they, ultimately are just talking talk about the others because a truly caring conversation has action behind it meaning now that there is true reason for concern, how are we going to address it with them, and what is our first step of action to help them if they agree they need help.
Hmmm, I have yet to be party to one of those types of conversations on behalf of another, which means I have only been party to unproductive conversations that have been about another which means I have only been party to gossip conversations when I am sitting there and at a table that is talking about others.
I can own that truth.
I have been the receiver of information from the erupting volcano. I can own that I didn’t say, please stop, don’t tell me 🫣
I can own that when they say – “I shouldn’t be saying this but” – that I don’t say your right and walk away. I have been guilty of getting the scoop while justifying that it might be something I need to know to protect myself… you know be aware of. I can admit it rarely is something I need to know.
I can own my truths.
It’s because I can own my truths and that I know far too many volcanos exist that I don’t say anything to anyone I would not want others to know or would be embarrassed if they found out.
I don’t do anything I would be ashamed if anyone found out.
Maybe it’s why I am so publicly raw, real, and authentically me speaking my own truth in such a public forum because it removes anyone having anything on me that others don’t know.
I live within the upmost of integrity to who I am and my beliefs. I don’t do anything I would be ashamed of or embarrassed about if someone were to find out. I just put it out so there is nothing to find out- you already knew from me.
What I share I share with belief the probability is very high it will be shared to others regardless of who the who is, there are too many volcanos (defined by me as a person who gains relevance in their life by having information others don’t and sharing that information regardless of who’s trust they are breaking or who could get hurt from the information being spoken as they gain a sense of relevance from others by being a source of information for people who gain relevance by knowing shit about others- read that three times) 🙂
Regardless of who the who I know that any confidences could be broken if the relationship distances. It is because unhealthy hurt people will consciously and subconsciously hurt people especially those who left them. They will share your personal that you shared in confidence with them- they will down play it or sensationalize it based on what tweaks best suit their own personal relevance needed out of your truth and twist the truth to benefit their relevance- I have seen this played out personally where revenge is sought by attempting to make you look bad and them better by sharing confidences another once held tight because you distanced yourself from them. They not only break confidence, they now sensationalize and twist the story to make them look good and you bad.
It’s not always revenge, sometimes it’s to gain commonality. Your storyline becomes their storyline to share without your permission, of course. They use it to gain commonality in making new friendships. It’s the good ole you have a golden retriever, I have a golden retriever syndrome. You are talking with someone who is talking about their ex and you feel they need to talk about your ex to build common ground so next thing you know you find yourself discussing your ex’s confidentialities with a total stranger.
I can own my truths and I happily admit that to this day I have never lowered myself to the level of another. I have never broken the confidences of an ex, a friend, a family member to another. Not to my kids or to family or to strangers or even to friends!! I have not even shared information that is public.
I don’t gain from hurting or potentially hurting others.
Without a doubt I began sharing all of me as part of my journey to free myself fully from repression and suppression as part of my journey knowing a truly healthy lifestyle is so much more than a nutrition plan and hitting the gym… so much of the extra fat a person is carrying around on their body mirrors and matches the repression and suppression of hurt they are feeling in life for which they are also carrying around in their body, mind, and soul. Share as part of journey too that for me being so public that others won’t have a story about me that is not already out because I already shared it.
If I wanted to truly make a difference in helping others heal I had to become very comfortable with the uncomfortable of being vulnerable to sharing my life… and further opening myself up to even more assuming, defining, and judgement… not less.
If people see themselves in my post, they can make change for the better. If the recognize what they are tolerating in their life, they can make change for the better. If they see that it does not require perfection to get more and more healthy and fit, they can make change to begin building more and more better health and fitness.
The funniest part, is I tell my absolute truth and people still make assumption and defining to replace my truth with their fairytale to make me who they want me to be in their story, and the fact that I am so open and have no topic taboo feed heightens judgement.
All of this bringing that much more awareness in my life to human behavior.
Truth
Facts
Kinda like the stories we will tell ourselves as to why someone else looks so good to make us looking that good out of reach so we don’t have to make changes in our nutrition- fitness- mindset.
Another’s healing may not come in exposing your life on social media, and it may be journaling your journey in a locked away note…
and getting super raw, real, and authentic first with self is part of healing inside out.
We cannot help others clean their mirror if we are not cleaning our own- everyone has spots on their mirror. If we looked at everything outside of our being as salty beach air we would understand that if we don’t maintain self awareness and a commitment to self betterment by keeping our mirror clean, by being distracted looking at the mirrors of others and what they need to clean up, our mirror gets cloudy real fast and next thing you know you are up 10lbs- 20lbs- 30lbs, in a happy enough relationship settling, and settling in life in general more.
So I end this with be like our friends 😘
Be Refreshing
One BadAss BITCH 