Why?

If there were awards given for judgment and assumption, there would be so many -maybe not so proud- recipients.

Social media created a entirely new platform for judgment and assumption to reach all new levels.

Not only did social media create a new platform for judgement and assumption, it also created a new avenue for one person to be nasty towards another aka bullying.

The funny thing is, so many of the people who write such nastiness out of judgement and/or assumption have no self awareness they are even at some level bullying another. They justify their behavior because they think the person for whom they are commenting deserves the judgement, the assumption, and the nasty words/ attacks because of their photos or videos or posts.

I am seeing so many post of people justifying their photos, their videos, and their choice to use filters, lighting, editing, etc. Or their choice to get Cosmetic Improvements.

After seeing an increase even more recently of people explaining themselves in response to some asshole who ranted in their comments I thought- why would anyone feel compelled to give such an asshole the satisfaction of response.

And what causes a person to become such an asshole to place such distaste or hate in another’s feed?

I wondered why can people not let others be, let them do them, you do you, and I do me.

Where does judgement originate?

Where does assumption originate?

I have been harshly judged for photos, videos, and postings. I have had assumptions made that are so far from the truth and my reality!!

It is a subject matter near and dear to my heart! How we treat others and how we react/ respond to how others treat us reflects on and impacts our mental health; and quite honesty, our overall health.

Those in judgement and assumption do not deserve a response. They do not deserve the energy of thought.

This does not mean we do not take a stand to end such behavior by placing a mirror on the behavior. Silence equals acceptance!! There is just so much bullshit and hypocrisy that silence is not appropriate here.

In normal Alexis style, I have been researching judgement and assumption. I have been observing behavior. I have been listening in passing to groups, couples, etc on the belt line talking about someone not present in judgement and assumption. AND I returned to moments where I have judged and made assumptions.

You have probably heard the saying “To assume makes an ass out of you and me”.

Why would a person assume a truth about someone else based on a photo or video or post? What causes such emotion in one person to react so strongly to another that they cast judgement and assumption.

I believe there is one word… at the root… and that is jealousy.

I know those words are ruffling a lot of feathers right now. No one wants to think of themselves as being jealous. And yet, I would argue that so much of our judgement and assumption is rooted by our own insecurities and a deflection of our own unhappiness in an area or more than one areas within our own life. Even a deflection from behavior we may be accepting in a relationship that we do not like.

We seek and find comfort by casting judgement and assumptions about others. After all, is it so much easier to talk about others than it is to own our own shit!

Stay with me…

Is there a chance that we have such strong emotion about a workout video being posted because we do not feel comfortable with our own health and fitness? Therefore, we are jealous of their health and fitness? We somehow feel threatened.

Is there a chance that we have such strong emotion about someone posting a bikini/ thong or even lingerie pic because we don’t feel we can compete? Our bodies are not where we would like them to be?

Even if social media gave user the right to post nudes… why does someone posting a nude or the impression of being nude bring up such emotion in another? Is there a chance that we are jealous we are not proud enough of our body or have the confidence within ourselves to feel comfortable enough to do the same? Maybe even lacking the confidence and not truly comfortable to be exposed fully to even our significant other.

I think so many believe they are casting judgement based on their own moral values and perhaps there is some truth in that belief; however, I ask is judging another person demonstrating high moral values?

If you believe in the Bible, you have been taught that Jesus walked with sinners and defended them to those seeking to judge and stone them to death for their sins.

You see, I think if we are really honest with ourselves, we are not judging based on our morals, we are primarily judging based on our insecurities and our fears.

We use to have to pop in a VHS then DVD’s to see exceptional fitness personalities teach and show us moves that would better our own fitness and shapes. Did we cast such judgement and assumption about the instructors as we do those on social media doing the same?

We use to have to buy fashion magazines and/ or receive catalogs to see flawless touched up models. Did we cast such judgement and assumption about them as we do social media influencers and models?

Yes, the means of access to workout videos, touched up models, and even porn has evolved.

Yes, the means for doctors, therapist, experts to market and gain clients in different fields has evolved.

Social media has changed how easily we receive, can view, can learn, can shop, and can gain access to just about anything and everything.

You know what has not changed! Our personal power of choice!!

We have the choice to follow, unfollow, watch, read, learn, like, block, etc based on our personal beliefs, our own personal boundaries, relationship boundaries, etc.

There is never a valid reason or excuse for one person to publicly shame another in a post, in a comment, or sending a DM hate. It’s not productive! And it is hate!

What if we all focused our energy, time, and thoughts into positive versus the negative that arrives from the negative space of judging and assumption?

What if we caught ourselves in making judgement and assumption and got real about the why?

And then got into action of true self care and love!

Can you imagine, just imagine for a moment, if all the energy used to scroll, judge, assume, and engage in hate or gossip about that which we are judging and assuming was placed into self care and self love what would happen?

I bet there would be a lot more happiness and a decrease in obesity.

It starts by each one of us looking in the mirror and taking ownership of how we show up first for ourselves and then how we treat others.

You see… I strongly believe that if we showed up for ourselves with self care and love… our judgement of others would naturally dissipate along with our insecurities.

What do you think?