The writers strike without a doubt has lead to unusual television viewing. We have exhausted all the amazing documentaries that impact ones health and fitness.
Since we watch television just before bed anything scary is a no go for yours truly. I prefer educational, comedic, or sexy. Content that does not lend to nightmares. And, yes, I like having my television downtime before bed.
So, with no new documentaries, we have turned to the mindless viewing of reality dating shows.
Yes, we have watched “Golden Bachelor” which is the first Bachelor I have watched in IDK 10 years I believe. In addition to Golden Bachelor, we have watched those in their twenties navigate dating and their quest for fame on “Too Hot to Handle” and “Love Island Australian”
I swear Alex and I could start a podcast of commentary while watching these shows:) Two experts from having lived, experienced, and learned lessons not always the easiest of ways.
Our latest watch “Love is Blind Sweden” is I believe a wake up call for us all.
Why?
I wrote a blog a few years ago “Comfy? And Complacent?” at https://onebadassbitch.com/2021/10/07/comfy-and-complacent/ where I wrote wondering at what point do we think things don’t matter anymore. I wrote this blog after years of observing, and even being guilty myself of thinking ,that because I was married or in a relationship of love that certain things should not matter… that the person should love me anyways.
Where did this thinking come from that one’s love should accept anothers lack of self care and self love that they once had? We bring forth our best in dating, why do we not continue to bring forth our best in marriage and/or a committed long term relationship?
Is “acceptance of” meaning “I am not going to leave you because” equal to “like or love of”?
Why does it take separation and divorce to get people back into physical shape?
Do we not have personal responsibility to continue to bring our best forward out of love versus have an expectation that because of love the other person should like us bringing forth less than what they fell in love with and was attracted to- just because- versus a life altering accident like, for instance, Christopher Reeves. Not adjusting nutrition, exercise, and supplements for each decade is not a life altering accident. Is it not fair to think that the attraction for the person who gave a damn about their appearance including their waistline waivers when they no longer show with equal care.
Are excuses sexy?
Sounds vane right? We all take notice when people lose or gain weight, because we all have a healthy sense of vanity.
Self care is attractive!
Self love is attractive!
Reality is love may be blind, attraction is not. We tend to mistake love for attraction. Just because your partner still loves you doesn’t mean they are still attracted to the you that is now 30lbs heavier than when you dated. I was attracted to and intrigued by Alex which is why I accepted his proposal for dinner. Always been an “It Factor” to him and I admit I became more hot for him when he got into more physical shape after he decided to start working out with me from boredom during covid shutdown times. It was the combination of now having more couple time where we were getting fit together, feeling his self confidence about his physique grow, and the stamina it gave him for all things in life- all three verry attractive elements to boost any relationship.
We all age, fat is not a part of aging and out of shape is not part of aging, they both are part of not adjusting for age.
These couples on “Love is Blind” felt such a connection based on connection without seeing each other that they got engaged; and then for most, the attraction is not present and without the attraction, an important part of the relationship is missing for both. For one it’s desiring their partner and for the other it’s being desired.
Ultimately what I have learned through my journey is the most important relationship I have is the relationship I first have with self. Prioritization of my health, fitness, and body is self respect, self love, and self care. By prioritizing me, I prioritize giving a damn on behalf of my romantic partnership because my truth is…
I don’t want love to be blind, I want my efforts to be appreciated by my partner and I want him to have one hell of time keeping his hands off me because the attraction is so strong.
After all, even the blind can see what they are and are not attracted to.
Perhaps Love is Blind, Attraction is Not
One BadAss BITCH 