Hurt. Resentment. Release. Understanding, Forgiveness-Mercy. Grace.

These are the words that wrap up my weekend.

Hurt, especially deep, hurt is very damaging. It makes people do things they would not normally do, react how they would not normally act, cause hurt they would not normally cause- it is very destructive for the person hurt and those in their lives.

It leads to resentment. And, oh boy, this is far more destructive.

What I realized in these past two weeks as I have isolated myself- is I was holding on to so much resentment I thought I had released.

Starting with resentment for my illness. Resentment towards those that have hurt me.

Like, I really thought I had released all the hurt, all the resentment- and I had not.

Boy, coming to that realization was such a release and it lead to an even bigger release. I have shed some tears- like the deep I cannot speak type of tears, let go of baggage that must have had every weight available in the gym, and have forgiven myself.

This allowed me to have greater understanding for the hurt that my hurt brought to them.

Which then allowed me to truly forgive, once and for all- true forgiveness and not just the words, them of the hurt they have caused me.

Once I forgave, I was able to ask for true mercy and understanding from others so that they too could release their hurt, resentment, and release.

And, that my friends, brought about grace by all.

There are several people in my life in a much better place this Monday morning and positioned for true continued healing and moving forward.

Including me.

I am deeply humbled by this experience. Sometimes we need to be stopped in our tracks to reflect because when we are wrapped up in the chaos of it- we just cannot see clearly and we make very poor decisions.

I can honestly say that had these last two weeks not happened I do not think that I would be writing this post today.

It took me calming my body, my mind, and the negative energy from the hurt to come full circle.

I leave you with this thought.

Loss of any kind- divorce, death, severed friendships, etc;

Diagnosis that changes ones normal;

Diagnosis that is imminent death;

Indiscretions- cheating- lying;

God knows what else causes hurt. Hurt often time leads to resentment.

Be sure to slow down and be real with oneself when life brings an event to you or you bring it on yourself.

Lying to oneself about where you are in the process does not work- I am here to tell you that!!

It costly in more ways than one.

Health and Fitness is a continued journey. Being in check and taking care of all of you is important to everyone else in your life.

Do not wait to start your journey. You and your best you depend it. More importantly, those you love depend on it too… and deserve it.

With all my love,

Alexis